Couldn’t stop feeling guilty –
Guilty that I didn’t breastfeed for long enough.
Guilty that I didn’t go back to work.
Guilty that I started a business.
Guilty that I then did go back to work!
Guilty (again) that I started another business!
You name it, I’ve felt guilty about it.
When I was away in Turkey, I decided to work on my beliefs around being successful in business and being a good mum.
The guilt really comes from all of the “should’s”. When we are working, we feel guilty because we “should” be with the kids. When we are with the kids, we feel guilty because we “should” be working.
That’s what I don’t want to pass on to my daughter. I want her to be free from all of the “should’s”.
When I approached things in a different way and looking at the positive intention of the belief – in a way that I’ve never done before; I realised how much I had achieved whilst being there for the kids. So, in a way, the guilt had served me.
But I wanted to be at peace and free from the “should’s”!
When I’d realised that it was my thinking that was causing the feelings, I felt a sense of peace. I was able to think about the kids and how much I loved them and missed them. But it came from a different place than the guilt.
Before I left, I was feeling guilty. When I came back, I realised it was totally the right decision. I was connecting with other women around the world, sharing ideas, growing, developing, even having fun. And my husband looking after the kids – and the kids being fine!
Because if I allow it to be OK to keep feeling guilty, and believe that I can’t have both – what would really happen in the world?
We’d be taken right back to where we started with women’s empowerment.
Mums deserve freedom from guilt in whatever they choose to do – stay at home, have a career, run a business.
Being a mum is enough. It’s the hardest job I’ve ever had.
The more we get rid of the “should’s”, the more we, as women, can be free to create the lives that we want for ourselves and our families.
On the last day in Turkey, I mentioned to another mum that I needed to get a present to take back for the kids. She said the present that her kids were getting was her self-esteem!
Now I had worked through what I was feeling, I was really able to think about the kids and miss them – without the guilt, without all of the “should’s”.
Because I was in the place of knowing that although I wasn’t with them, I was creating a better life for all of us.